Inarah....at almost 10 months

My baby is down again with a flu. I rushed to her pediatrician yesterday night coz her cough sounded really bad with lots of phlegm. She has lots 3 grams over 2 weeks and that really worries me. It’s even more important in her case that she puts on weight consistently. She is 8.3kgs now. I am hoping that she will be around 12 kg’s when they decide to do the surgery. She hasn’t been eating very well as well. Its just so different with her compared to Alysha. With Alysha I had no issues with food. She just ate everything I made. Inarah is so fussy with food. Most of the time we have to trick her into eating. She loves water and so we just keep saying, water, water and she opens her mouth wide. Of course after realizing it’s a spoonful of porriage she almost screams but surprisingly they must really have a short memory as she opens her mouth wide again when she hears’ water, water”

It was so sad to leave her behind today. I have been on leave for 3 days due to my brothers wedding and so both of them have been having me all to themselves. Specially Inarah. So in the morning when I left for work, it was very difficult for her and me. She just wanted to be in my arms and kept putting her head on my shoulder as I held her close.

On a brighter note, her pead says she is growing well for her age and condition. She is not strong enough to hold on and stand on her own but keeps trying to get on her feet. She crawls with one knee and one feet which was a concern for hubby and me but her pead says , some kids do that for a while.

The other concern I have is milk. That is my breast milk. It’s been more and more difficult to keep up with her milk intake. I barely get 3-4 ounces overtime pump. Sometime as little as 2oz. Its just so tiring. I have to pump so many times a day to have just enough for her next days feed. It’s so tempting to start supplementing with formula. But I really want to exclusively breastfeed until she is one at least. It’s really not so much the nutritional value of the milk but rather the bonding process. When she is at my breast, you should see the look on her face. She looks at me with those eyes that say that she wants to be there for ever and ever. She is so calm and peaceful when she feeds.

She is a very intelligent child, you can tell. She understands a lot of what we say and shows us by doing what we tell her to do. Like sleep (she will put her head on the pillow), belly button (she will lift her top), her ears (she touches them), she raises both her hands in the air when we say hooray, she waves bye bye. She waves both hands like a butterfly when I sing the butterfly song. She will try to comb her hair when you hand her a comb. She will try and write on a paper when you hand her a pencil (thanks to Alysha) She opens and closes her palm when we sing twinkle twinkle little star. She knows all of us by how we call ourselves, papa, mama, ben (elder sister), kaka, nana, nani. She indicates she wants something by pointing her hand towards it.

She has started opening cupboards to dig out things, she can open a book when you hand her one. She knows 2 books very well already. Her favorite baby’s Boat and Goodnight Moon.

She also has a fierce temper and screams at you when you upset her. Like when her sister refuses to share something with her or when she is frustrated with something he can’t manage.
And she just LOOOOOVES to dance. You don’t even need music. Just sing a rhythm or hum a tune and her body just starts moving, she will move her hands in the air as well if someone else is dancing with her. She loves her sister. She could be very upset and crying but the minute she sees Alysha , there is this smile on her face that I don’t even see when she looks at me.

She makes us all so happy. She is truely as her name means " A light in the darkness"

Oh my baby. We are just so happy and lucky to have you. You have brought us so much joy in such a short time. Mama loves you soooo much

My not too sociable little girl.

A few weeks ago I had bloged about Alysha having a great vocabulary, is very loving, considerate and a polite girl. However, the thing that I worry about sometimes is her social skills. She has wonderful social skills with her family and friends (a few other kids). But when it comes to others i.e. my friends, cousins, aunts, etc. she just does not socialize. No matter how hard they or I try to get her to even say her name or to greet them or to say thanks, she will not budge. She just will not speak to them. But otherwise she is the chattiest kid I know.

I always felt like I failed in some way here. Maybe I was too protective as a mom when she was younger. Maybe I should have has many more people around when she was younger.

Today I read a post that makes me feel so much better. Don’t know if it’s true but if it is, it explains a lot for her behavior.

I have been reading http://daycaredaze.blogspot.com/ for a while now. She is a nanny who has years of experience looking after kids of all breeds and ages. I absolutely this post.

Take a kid chock-full of extroverted genes, throw her in with a bunch of new faces every day, and you get a kid who rises to the stimulation, giggling and interacting, smiling and playing. She thrives on it.

“A-ha!” say proud parents. “Our strategy is working! Look at our outgoing, socially competent child!” They believe it’s their manipulation of her environment, their training, which has produced this social prodigy.

Not convinced? Picture the other side of the coin. Take a kid chock-full of introverted genes, throw her in with a bunch of new faces every day, and do you get a socially skilled kid who thrives on lots of interaction? No, you get a kid who is overwhelmed, nervous, clingy, unhappy, even terrified. The constant barrage of social stimulation is too much for her. Why? Because she’s not an extrovert.

This is not to disparage the significance of parents. For those first years, you are the single most important relationship in your child's life. Even as they gain independence and autonomy, parents are still very important to their children. But we're not omnipotent. There is a limit to parental impact, influence, significance.You can give children skills, and you can hope they learn to apply them, but those skills are always superimposed upon their base character. Bottom line: no matter what your parenting skills, you can’t you cannot turn a child into something they’re not.”

My mom is an introvert. She does not have many friends and is usually the quiet one in a crowd and so is my dad. I am like that too to some extent and maybe that’s just why Alysha is the way she is.

I’d like to think that its nothing that I have done or not done that has resulted in her not being such a sociable person. And if Inarah turns out to be any different it’s all because of my husband’s genes.

Fever's down...all set to go

Inarah's fever is down. I slept well last night after 3 days of very little sleep. I am so glad it was just a throat infection.

We are all set to go to Ipoh for Deepavali and will be back on Sunday fro Hari Raya. Was packing till 1 am last night. When you travel with kids,you can never take enough.

To all friends and fellow mommy bloggers. Happy Deepavali, Selamat Hari Raya and Happpy Holidays.

May you have a wonderful time with your loved ones.

Fever still there

38.3 the last I checked this morning and she has been sleeping alot. I am panicking already.

My poor sick baby

Inarah has been having fever for the past 2 days and its just not going off. Initially she was just a little warm. And since she is teething ( all 4 at once) I thought it was just that. But the fever keeps coming back the minute the effect of the paracetamol starts going off. And its really high fever. Last night it was 38.5 and she was hot really hot in my arms. I would have rushed to A & E but for the fact that 1/2 hour after the paracetamol the fever started coming down.

Also yesterday I saw 2 mozie bites on her thigh. So a mom like me would just think of the worse.

Took her to the pead this morning who thinks it would be a throat infection coz its slightly red. But she has never had such high fever even with infections previously. Even he looked a little worried.

He prescribed some paracetamol, antibiotics and phenegan. If by Thursday morning if it does not subside then he has asked to come in for a review which may include a blood test for dengi.

Its just scary when you are holding a child who feels not warm but hot against your body. Very scary. She also threw up a couple of times because of the fever and looks so tired. Just not her normal chatty self. The last time it happened was years ago when Alysha had a ear infection.

I just hope its nothing. Please let it be nothing but just a throat infection. Please, please, please.

I feel so proud to be a mom

As I was walking out from Alysha's class this morning. You could see it on my face. I was beaming from ear to ear.

I don't usually drop Alysha off as I have go get to work early. Hubby drops her off. So I don't really get to speak to the teacher much. Today hubby was out of town and so I left really early to drop her off.

The teacher just went on and on about what an angel Alysha is. Of course we all know that she is not an angel all the time. No kid can ever be. But the teacher was very proud of her. "She has contributed to teaching language skills in the class" she said. According to her Alysha speaks very well and many kids have picked up lots of words form her. She also has very gentle, considerate and have good manners and now is willing to share most of the time.

Of course I felt proud but I don't know why but instead of saying thanks I ended up explaining that its all because of the habit of reading. Maybe its the typical Malaysia habit of not being able to take a compliment gracefully.

I have been reading to her since she was a child and till today I have to read her at least 2 book every night before bed. All the reading has not only given her an amazing vocabulary but also she is very knowledgeable about many things for a 4 year old.

For instance, her teacher gets very amused when she says she wants to be an astronaut coz she wants to reach the skies and touch the stars. This is from one of the books where elmo is in an astronaut suit. Books are so wonderful. And she has the most amazing collection of books for a kid.

Anyway, she went on saying how the up bringing of the child makes such a difference. Clearly she is getting a good foundation at home. She has seen many working mothers who neglect their children and work late. They rush off to work even without giving their kids a hug in the morning when they drop them off, etc, etc.

I felt so good. Being a juggler (you know what I mean), work, home, kids, husband, what else ??? is surely not easy. But I have been trying so hard to spend most of the time I have left after work with Alysha and have been managing well so far. Of course I have to give credit to my mom and my maid coz they are with her most of the time. Although my mom has a different style of parenting and often there is conflict between us because of it but she has learn to adjust to my style as much as she can. Same applied to my Suryani, my maid.

Must also give credit to hubby for learning to be a better parent and not screaming away like he used to.

My only fear is that with 2 kids now, I hope she will not regress in any way as I don't have as much time to spend with her anymore.

But then there is also this concept of benign neglect. I read a wonderful post on it and will posting my thoughts and experience on it soon.

Till then