In times of pain, trust God

I read this somewhere yesterday and it got me to think about my trust in God.

I don't consider myself a religious person as I don't really pray everyday. I try and pray every morning as I want my daughters to understand that it is important to do so. I do go for prayers every week but then that is more so that my daughters get a good foundation. I had a good foundation and that's why today even though I don't pray everyday, I believe that my faith in God is as strong as the faith of a person who payers 3 or 5 times a day.

I was in so much pain a few months ago after I discovered that Inarah had a CHD. And I think I have survived so far living with this fact because I really do trust God. I trusted him by leaving her in his hands, to do as he deems right/necessary no matter how painful it could have been for me.

He is with me in this and has given me the wisdom and patience to see this through thus far. He has helped me by making me forget that she is a CHD child so that I can enjoy the moments that I spend with her without fear and sorrow. He has kept her well, healthy and happy (she is smiling all the time) alhamdullilah.

And in this time of happiness, I thank him. I know there will be times of pain again, times of sorrow, difficulties, all I have to do then is again trust HIM.

Naughty mama, naughty papa, naughty.....

That's the new thing going around the house. Alysha going around saying naughty mama everything she gets upset with me, naughty papa, etc.

I worry sometimes whether she will resent me for all the punishment that she gets for being naughty. Sometimes I think I punish her too much and don't let her be herself. Its just that I feel she needs to realize that for every action there will be a reaction, good and bad.

Should I let her get away with scribbling in her story book (she actually got away with this one as I realized she did it solely to get my attention), or ripping up Inarah's mat on the floor, or switching off the TV when Suben is watching, or just throwing things around the house instead of the dustbin, throwing coins instead of putting it in her piggy bank, biting into her pencils, writing on the wall, hitting kakak or papa when she is upset, screaming at one of us when she is upset, ah! the list could go on and on

I know they seem very trivial (except hitting someone for which she never gets away w/o a punishment) but if I do let her get away with the rest, wont she just keep doing them again and again. On the other hand she is 3 1/2 and maybe too young to be punished for some of these things. Am I being too harsh on her?

Its so tough being a mother, being expected to do the right thing, to be firm yet loving. They don't teach any of this in any school, how would I know what to do ?

Sometimes I feel I fail so badly at motherhood.