Friday, January 12, 2007

My partner in parenting

My hubby has never been the kind of father I was hoping my children would have. He was never really involved in the daily care for my first born and from time to time tried to do the parenting thing but I could tell he was doing it either out of guilt (that I made him feel) or duty as a father. I never thought he truely enjoyed doing things with her (except for watching TV, LOL)

And maybe thats the reason he is not very connected to my elder girl. And of course it does not help, when your only daughter says, "I love mama, kakak, nani and everyone except papa" And the more you feel disconnected, the more you would not bother, the more you keep a distance and then it gets worse. Its a visious cycle.

With Inarah, its really different. He told me he wants to do better. I said okay, lets see. He did make an effort, much much more than with Alysha. Until now, you could not really see the results. But now, you can see it. Inarah will gladly run into his arms from mine (most of the time) and really enjoys being with him. He plays with her, tries to feed her, he can even put her to sleep. I am suddenly so impressed.

The other day when she was down with fever and I was holding her most part of the night, at some point of time he came by and took her from me and I could lie down and give my back a rest. Other nights he has volunteered to hold her as well. Like I said, its a cycle. She responds to him and because of that he genuinely likes being with her and wants to do things with her.

For the first time after a long time I feel that I am not doing this alone. I have a partner. I hope its not short lived and will get better. I guess its a learning process for him.


At 4:20 PM, Blogger geetha said...

Wow! He's changing for teh good. I think he realises how much he missed the grwoing up of Alysha and don't want to miss it again. Happy for you dear :)

At 7:42 PM, Anonymous a&a'smom said...

Shamira, I think this is such a good post! Hope the dads will read it.

At 12:54 AM, Blogger Krystal said...

It is so heartwarming to see your husband and child bond. I hope that your husband and Alysha can grow closer with time. I also hope that Inarah is feeling better (and eating better) soon!!!


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