Its all about having faith

Was just reading Lilian's blog. A very touching post on Vincent, the son she lost. This woman is truely a brave and courageous mother. She inspires me and keeps giving me the courage I need to deal with Inarah's condition.

I had said earlier that I have come into terms with Inarah's condition and have accepted it as God's will. I try so hard to accept it but honestly sometimes I do question it? All the "whys" keep comming into my head. Why me? why her? why? why? why? I feel sinful to question it but I can't help it.

Does this question my faith in God? Do I doubt him in any way? No, I dont. Its just that we humans need to rationalise everything, everything that happens or that does not. It's the way we have been thought. After all science is suppose to explain these things. Also probably due to our quest for knowledge, for knowing everything that happens in this world. Its difficult to give that up and accept the fact that somethings are unexplainable and sometimes there are no answers. After all HE is not answerable to us.

I just love what LIlian had writen here and I am reminded again that I must continue to have faith and submit to the will of God

"God is not answerable to us. He doesn’t owe us an answer why one person is healed through faith and thousands of innocent people died. This is earth, earth means sufferings and hardship. That’s why God promise a Heaven.The only people that I pity are those well-learnt ones who tried so hard to reason with their human minds. It amazes me how such scholarly people, who knows the Quran, To’rah and Bible, all in one, page by page, verse by verse chosed to spent their God given mind, questioning something that no one can answer. Isn’t that such a frustrating thing to do?"

I have put my Inarah in HIS hands. She was given to me by HIM and HE shall decide if she will be with us or in HIS arms. Meanwhile I will love her with all my heart and soul and just have faith.

I am also so afraid that I am not strong enough. Not strong enough to see through the surgery and pain that my baby will feel. I am not that strong. I can just pray that he give us the strength to see this through.