Thursday, May 12, 2005

Does gender matter?

Again, this comes from one of Jenn's blog on Sunonline. My firstborn is a girl, who I and my hubby adore to bits. My parents could not be happier with their little grand daughter. She is something my parents look forward to everyday. But if I were to have another one, I know that my parents would want a boy. I have caught my mom telling my daughter, "tell mama you want a brother to play with". My husband has many a times said "It does not matter, if its a girl or a boy provided that the child is a healthy child" But I know deep down that he wants a son so that he can share with him things that in his mind he will not be able to share with his daughter when she is older. I know I am stopping at 2. I wish I could have many children but reality is we have financial constraints as we wouold want to give our children the best.

The question in my mind is "Why does he think he will not be able to share things with his daughter as he would with a son, why does he think, he will be closer to the child if he is a boy as oppose to a girl ?" Does this all not boil down to how you bring them up and the kind of relationship you build with the child?

Does it really matter? I know it does to many people. To me, from the bottom of my heart it really does not. Infact, I think I want another girl coz its so much fun with a girl. Also I think, sisters share a kind of bond and I would like Alysha to share that kind of bond with her sister (if she has one). It will be great. But sometimes i wish I will have a boy so that the experiences of bringing him up will be something new (this is from what I have heard from friends who have boys) and I would like to experience that as well.

But its sad that it matters to others in my life for other reasons, for reasons that I would hate to discuss.


At 5:51 PM, Blogger mjey said...

At the the end of the day - The God Almighty knows it all. He is already probably creating a mould up there for your next kid...let it be a boy or a give them the best. Doesn't matter what others think. I grew up with two brothers - turned out just fine and infact I could speak up to my dad anytime - actually father's share more with their girls than they do with their sons...wait and see!

At 12:37 PM, Blogger james said...

Before Jesse was born, we were sort of hoping for a little girl. But when he came, we loved him to bits anyway. So, I guess it doesn't really matter though it'd be fun to have both a little boy and a little girl.

At 4:33 PM, Blogger Prithi Shetty said...

Woo, I thought this happened only in India.

Maybe ppl think they need both boys & girls in a family. Or maybe its the traditional reason.

And maybe it might be out of concern of what future holds for their kids. Everyone knows, the equation is lopsided towards males, in this world. Ofcourse we will continue our efforts to make it a better world for ladies - then mayb parents want to save their kid from making extra effort and having a good, easy life.

Inspite of that, I am sure both parents as well as grandparents love the kids equally. So I think, you should not take it to heart and maybe ignore it. Everything happens for the best.

At 9:01 PM, Blogger 5xmom said...

Chinese and Indians mostly have this gender issue. Something hard to get rid off, hopefully in a few more cycles. I can attest that people sort of look up when you have boys than girls. *sigh* I wish I have girls.....

At 9:20 AM, Blogger SiaoChaBoa said...

Not only chinese and indians.. my ang moh MIL and FIL also want a boy .. hahah!! But they are not pushing it.. coz' my spouse already told them.. that i might die.. if i try and have another one.. coz' he was in the operation theatre with me.. when i had Chloe.. so they never bug me ever again.. :)

At 12:15 PM, Blogger Mama22Beas said...

Hi Shamira, I'm kind of having 'pressure' from people around me already. Some even say let's pray it is a boy...I sure love to have a boy but if it is another girl, I'd love her as much. I have 5 sisters, I feel really blessed.


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