Friday, May 06, 2005

Happy Mothers Day

was just reading MG's blog and have become all emotional about Mothers Day. I for one have many times taken my mom for granted. I know she has done so much for me in my lifetime but we are very different in the way we think and the things we believe in and due to that we have quite a bit of disgreements.

Now that I am a mother to a 2 year old, I think of all the things that I do for my daughter, my feelings for her, the love I feel for her, the kind of happiness she brings me and about how I want to see her grow into a wonderful human being. Of course my parenting style is very different from my mom’s and she was a SAHM whereas I work full time. My daily challenges are very different from what she would have faced.

Non the less, she must have cared for us so much, making sure we were fed, clean, clothed ( I remember how she loved to get us new clothes) having food ready when we are back from school, taking us for outings now and then, protecting us from the world outside, taking care of us when we were sick, the list goes on I remember her packing snackes for me for school and I used to think its such a natural thing to do. When I did that just once for my daughters pre school (Althogh it was just a trial) I did it with so much love and concern hoping that she will like what I packed. I think of all the times that I have been up all night, caring for my daughter when she was sick. My mom must have felt the same. She is not good at expressing her feelings and I don’t ever remember her saying I love you although I know she muct have said it many many times when I was a kid. But I know she loves me but I just wished we were more open about our feelings. Its difficult for me to say "I love you" to her too coz we are just not used to shere such feelings openly. Maybe its the way we have been brought up. Demonstrating our feelings openly was definately not part of our life.

Now, I think of how lucky I have been compared to people who dont have a mother or who have mothers who are abusive to their children. Children who will never know what a mothers love is all about. I am luckier than many others because I have my mom to care for my daughter. Not many have that. I feel really bad now thinking how disappointed she must be with me coz I don’t spend as much time with her now or do as much as she would expect me to do because I am so caught up with my life.

I know Mothers Day have become very commercialised but for someone like me who is so caught up with my daily life, I appreciate this day as it gives me an oppurtunity to reflect on my relationship with my mom and try and make it better. And how lucky and thankful I am for having a mom who loves me. I am also thankful for having a wonderful and healthy daughter. When I think about mothers in hospitals at the bedside of their sick children, I thank God for giving me a healthy child and pray that the mothers continue having the courage to be with their sick children.

Happy Mothers Day to All

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