I have been spared

Hubby finally has taken the cue and spared me from sitting through Star Wars. I am sooooo happy. He has found a friend to take to the show.

He realised I was not feeling very well and decided I should rest :)
I tried not to jump with joy for the fear that he might realise I had no intention at all form the start of enjoying the show. I only agreed to go coz I love him......now you know how much....

Yipee!!!!

A busy and fun weekend

Its amazing how much I managed to do over the long weekend. Lets see, I did take Alysha to Trisha & Sasha. We went with Sri amd gitanjali and had lots of fun. She did craft after the story telling. Although it was meant for older kids, she insisted she wanted to do it. So mama had to sit there and make a tortise, which turned out pretty good actually.

Went to visit a cousin in the hospital in the evening but he was already discharged. So went to visit hubby's aunt and Alysha had lots of fun playing in the swing in the house.

Yes, I did go to "Caravan". The hindi pub. The music was great and all my cousins turned up. I danced a lot, really had lots of fun.

My brother was there too, not very sober though. He was mourning the defeat of MU. Suddenly, he started hugging me and was close to tears saying that he loves me more than anything else in this world. He was actually really crying. I was so touched. You see, we are not really connected as siblings and we rarely express our feelings about how we feel for each other. He probably needed the alcohol to express his love for me. I was touched, anyway.

Then, out of the blue, I decided to have the whole gang over at place for tea the next day. Initially, there were 6, then 9, then when they turned up, 2 aunties came along so, it was a huge tea party. We had good food though, very nice mee hoon, "vade" ( my mom's never to fail receipe) some jelly, some nyonya kuih and very nice tea. Everyone just loved the food, specially the mee hoon. Thanks God, there was enough for everyone and thanks to my maid I didnt faint cooking. Alysha had the most fun coz they all adore her and she had a great time playing wth them

The evening ended really well and after putting Alysha to sleep, me and hubby cuddled up to the movie "Paycheck". Really good. I would recomend it to anyone who hasnt seen it. Ben Aflect and Uma Thurman. I like both of them.

Monday, spend some time gardening with Alysha or rather just pouring soil all over the balcony (which was ok, really coz it was due for a good scrub). Alysha had fun playing with Gitanjali and it looks like the 2 are getting more and more used to each other. Cant really remember more than...maybe 2 instances that I had to pull Gitanjali away from her. They actually played together. Me and Sri are also spending some some time together which is really nice. Sri bought lunch. After stuffing our faces, Sri and me went to Jaya Supermarket when the kids took a nap. I went to Payless Bookstore and Popular. Couldnt find the book I was looking for but bought some nice elmo and piglet books for Alysha which she loved. Sri, shopped at the Metro Sale for some nice clothes she could wear in court, a handbag you would use with jeans and a pair of very nice sandles that she could bare walk in ??? dont ask..... At night, me and Alysha did some painting in the balcony and we all had a good early night.

Great weekend, aint it? But you can imagine how tired I am, didnt get to nap at all.

The mandatory Star Wars post

Ok, since everyone is doing it, I thought I'd join the bandwagon as well. Sorry Lil. I was soooo sleepy after lunch but Belacan's post which led me to Simon's post just got me so amused , I am not sleepy anymore. I personally cant understand the facination about Star wars. But hubby is a fan so am watching it on Wed. Hopefully, my little one does not turn out to be a fan otherwise I will be feeling so left out in the Star Wars conversations, not that I mind it, though!

But, rest I will be surely thinking about so many other ways to use the force during the show. LOL

Saturday Night Out

Oh! oh! forgot to mention among all the things that I will be doing over the weekend......I know what you are thinking, its never going to happen, right? Anyway, as I was saying, among all the things that I will be going this weekend , there is also a saturday night out planned with Rehana, Shirin, Farah, Hubby and dont know who else.

We are going to this new hindi pub called "Caravan" in Melia Hotel. Not at all like the other hindi pub (Planet Bombay) where the drunked's try to strip you naked with their eyes, even if you have an ass as big as mine or maybe pricesely thats why. Anyway, this new place is real classy where decent people dress up and the music is great and no drunked's striping you with their eyes. I am imagining a hip pub in Bombay. Lets see if its up to my expectation.

The girls are going to be booking a room and staying over night. They offered but hey, I am a mama now. Cant leave my daughter alone at home and sleep in a hotel room with the girls. Its already a big thing that I am going out.

Going to go around 11 after Alysha sleeps. Will keep you posted.

Busy, busy, busy

Have lots of work and am going to be busy till sometime next week so not going to have time to blog. Just looking forward to the long weekend but suspect have to do some work over the weekend. Just hate that!

Have plans to visit popular bookstore in Jaya Supermarket to buy some books over the weekend, take alysha to trisha & sasha, the park, petaling street with Sri (she wants to buy hand bags and I want piglet, tigger and BJ for Alysha and probably a hair cut. How? So mcuh to do, so little time.

I am a blankie/soothie

Whatever you call it, This is from MG's blog, which has made me realise that I am actually a comfort toy to my daughter. Alysha can't slep without pulling my hair to sooth her to sleep. Well, when my mom, maid or hubby put her to sleep, she pulls theirs. SHE JUST NEEDS TO PULL HAIR TO SLEEP. Its terrible. its my doing of course, when she was younger and she used to feed from my breast she used to lovingly tug onto my hair. I found it sweet and it was like a bonding thing. But now that there is no more McB's, the hair is the only thing that puts her to sleep.

It can get so painful for me sometimes and I just pull away when it does, then she pleads saying she will not pull but just hold it and roll in between her fingers. Can you imagine that? Even if I try not to give in, before I know it eventually either when I am already asleep or almost falling asleep she is right there again, at my hair, tugging and pulling.

I have tried everything as a replacement, her fav soft toy, blankie, bolster but notthing works. Now I am wondering what am I to do? How do I stop this? Will she ever outgrow this ? Cant imagine a 7 year old kid having to pull her mama's hair to sleep. Oh God!

I am late...again

Again? I know, really dunno what's happening. I am late by 5 days. But after what happened the last time and the disappointment I went through, I am trying so hard to take it cool and not rush to the pharmacy to get a test kit. And unlike the last time I dont want to be pregnant this month coz havent really been having a healthy lifestyle this month. Remember that bottle of wine over one of the weekend? How now, brown cow?

She is staying!

She is staying! She is staying! You can’t imagine the kind of relief I am experiencing. I just asked her this morning and she didn’t even need the time to think about it. She was so sure she wanted to stay for another year. Her only request was that I sent back approx RM4000 to her family for them to be able to buy a family home.

I have increased her pay to RM400 which she was very happy about. Phew! No more worrying about how am I going to manage if she decided to go. I know it’s still a problem that I have to deal with, if not now maybe later but we’ll cross the bridge then.

She was not even keen to go back for 2 weeks or so coz the travel from Medan to Palembang is a long one and she wouldn’t know how to travel unless someone took her along. My agent who brought her in is not in is not in the maid’s business anymore so I really wouldn’t know how to help her there.

So, another year and a half of no worrying about domestic help. Thank you God.

Ok, ok, I have to try and not take her for granted so much.

Does gender matter?

Again, this comes from one of Jenn's blog on Sunonline. My firstborn is a girl, who I and my hubby adore to bits. My parents could not be happier with their little grand daughter. She is something my parents look forward to everyday. But if I were to have another one, I know that my parents would want a boy. I have caught my mom telling my daughter, "tell mama you want a brother to play with". My husband has many a times said "It does not matter, if its a girl or a boy provided that the child is a healthy child" But I know deep down that he wants a son so that he can share with him things that in his mind he will not be able to share with his daughter when she is older. I know I am stopping at 2. I wish I could have many children but reality is we have financial constraints as we wouold want to give our children the best.

The question in my mind is "Why does he think he will not be able to share things with his daughter as he would with a son, why does he think, he will be closer to the child if he is a boy as oppose to a girl ?" Does this all not boil down to how you bring them up and the kind of relationship you build with the child?

Does it really matter? I know it does to many people. To me, from the bottom of my heart it really does not. Infact, I think I want another girl coz its so much fun with a girl. Also I think, sisters share a kind of bond and I would like Alysha to share that kind of bond with her sister (if she has one). It will be great. But sometimes i wish I will have a boy so that the experiences of bringing him up will be something new (this is from what I have heard from friends who have boys) and I would like to experience that as well.

But its sad that it matters to others in my life for other reasons, for reasons that I would hate to discuss.

Such a wonderful morning

Oh, such a wonderful morning it is, wonderful wonderful morning. Left my maid in my mom's as last night we were out for a late dinner.Took my mom out for Mother's Day dinner at Eden. The morning was so good. Me and hubby could laze around the house in nothing after a long time. I could kiss him anytime I wanted in the hall, the litchen, oh how I miss times like this.

Made juice for hubby and Alysha, made breakfast for alysha (usually my maid does this as I am busy attending to Alysha afer I am dressed). Actually we made breakfast together, she made humpty dumpty fall into a bowl and I fried it for her. Hubby helped of course to watch over her while I did all the other things.

Fed her in the car and hubby dropped me off the office before dropping Alysha to my mom's. Its just a very different feelings not having another person around. Wish I could have more mornings like this.

Came in the office and bosses are not around today so its going to be a pretty relaxing day although I have a meeting at 11.30. may take a long lunch break and get some puzzles for Alysha from Sogo. She is bored with all her old ones. Hope the day ends well as well.

'till later

I chickened out

I havent asked her yet. I dunno why, she didnt seem like she was in a good mood co'z kena marah from me. Wel, I am not fussy really but she has started taking some things for granted and if it involves my daughter surely I marah. Anyway, hope this weekend is a better one. Will ask her then

Had a bottle of wine for the weekend

Weekend was interesting. had a bottle of wine. That was the highlight of it. At dinner at uncle arul's I actually had a bottle of wine. Alysha had a good time getting all the attention. I just had wine, very good wine, that was. Got all hot and excited when I got back but alas, NO action. I think I feel asleep on my husband's face while kissing him. serves me right for having the whole damn bottle.

Sunday morning was good. Went to UMMC for the Mothers Day charity project and I cant think of a better way to spend Mother's Day than to share with Mothers caring for sick children. Didn't do much with my mom coz she was in Penang. We are taking her out for dinner on Wed.

went for facial in the afternoon, my face feels so clean and I finally have eye brows. Had a tough time explaining to alysha why I need to go somewhere to get my face clean. She couldnt understand why couldn't I just use soap and water and clean it at home. You'll know girl, once you are 30 something and you stop recognizing the way your face feels, you'll know.

Anyway, had a good evening at BSC to end it all as we couldn't go to the park or pasar malam due to the rain. Went to get some cold cuts and went to Times to read some books with Alysha. It was a good outing for the maid and my sis as well.

Oh, oh oh! forgot to mention the highlight of the weekend, it was not only the wine. I got my daughter's ears pierced, yes finally!

She got me all excited on Friday coz she said she wanted to wear earings that her nani (grandma) got her so I said ok, we can go pierce your ears tomorrow and left it at that. You see, I didn't want to get too excited as I had attempted this once before but she refused to even mark the ear after me taking her all the way to PJ.

Saturday morning, after all her fav tv shows, I just probed the matter further and she actually wanted to go. SO off we went. I took a cab, got to Poh Kong in PJ. They were amazing. . Chose the earrings. 2 of them had the gun ready and pretended as if they were going to just try them on her. Counted to 3 in Chinese and boom! It was done. She screamed of course and I went prepared of course, m&ms, lollipop, raisin, the works. She forgot all about the ear piercing after a while. I was so excited to see her ear with earrings. She looks soooooo cute. Its with a red stone which she has to keep on for 2 weeks or so, then can change it to something else.

Its so much fun having a girl !!

'till later

Is she going to stay?

Am going to aks her this weekend. wonder what will she say? I am talking about my maid. Her 2 years ends in October and we all know how difficult it is to get maid now a days let alone a good one. I like my maid. When she came 2 years ago, she was very young, 17 years old, very shy and very quiet. Now I have to aks her to keep quiet if I want her to stop talking, lol. She has some what become part of the family. My daughter loves her to bits and cant imagine her going back to her kampung. She screams and says "NO" everytime I emntion that "you know, kaka's mama and papa live in Indonesia and one day kakak must go back" Ths is in case she decides not to stay so I have been trying to preare my daugher for it. But as far as Alysha is concerned, no way she can imagine her life without her kakak and no way she is agreeing to another kakak.

My maid can cook, capati, chicken curry, motton chops, pizza, spagetti, the works and she makes excellent tea. I cant imagine my life without her really. I know I am truely spoilt in this category. My excuse is that all the free time I have is really for my daughter, I dont want to spend it cleaning and cooking. She sews, mends all our clothes, etc. She speaks decent english, can sing many nursery rhyms and can read some simple books to my daughter.

I treat her as part of my family, really. The only thing is that I dont take her out much, unless its to the park, swimming, pasar malam, market or grocerrry shopping at TMC. I am still pretty cautios about her mingling around with other maids. Never know the kind of influence they could be.

So, this weekend I am going to ask her THE question. whether she wants to stay for another year or maybe even forever, lol. Considering I am planning to have another child as soon as God gives me the "rezeki", it would be so much easier with her being aorund than having to train a new maid. Has anyone experienced changing maids after 2 years when your child is already so close and confortable with the maid. What would it be like, I wonder? Do share

Happy Mothers Day

was just reading MG's blog and have become all emotional about Mothers Day. I for one have many times taken my mom for granted. I know she has done so much for me in my lifetime but we are very different in the way we think and the things we believe in and due to that we have quite a bit of disgreements.

Now that I am a mother to a 2 year old, I think of all the things that I do for my daughter, my feelings for her, the love I feel for her, the kind of happiness she brings me and about how I want to see her grow into a wonderful human being. Of course my parenting style is very different from my mom’s and she was a SAHM whereas I work full time. My daily challenges are very different from what she would have faced.

Non the less, she must have cared for us so much, making sure we were fed, clean, clothed ( I remember how she loved to get us new clothes) having food ready when we are back from school, taking us for outings now and then, protecting us from the world outside, taking care of us when we were sick, the list goes on I remember her packing snackes for me for school and I used to think its such a natural thing to do. When I did that just once for my daughters pre school (Althogh it was just a trial) I did it with so much love and concern hoping that she will like what I packed. I think of all the times that I have been up all night, caring for my daughter when she was sick. My mom must have felt the same. She is not good at expressing her feelings and I don’t ever remember her saying I love you although I know she muct have said it many many times when I was a kid. But I know she loves me but I just wished we were more open about our feelings. Its difficult for me to say "I love you" to her too coz we are just not used to shere such feelings openly. Maybe its the way we have been brought up. Demonstrating our feelings openly was definately not part of our life.

Now, I think of how lucky I have been compared to people who dont have a mother or who have mothers who are abusive to their children. Children who will never know what a mothers love is all about. I am luckier than many others because I have my mom to care for my daughter. Not many have that. I feel really bad now thinking how disappointed she must be with me coz I don’t spend as much time with her now or do as much as she would expect me to do because I am so caught up with my life.

I know Mothers Day have become very commercialised but for someone like me who is so caught up with my daily life, I appreciate this day as it gives me an oppurtunity to reflect on my relationship with my mom and try and make it better. And how lucky and thankful I am for having a mom who loves me. I am also thankful for having a wonderful and healthy daughter. When I think about mothers in hospitals at the bedside of their sick children, I thank God for giving me a healthy child and pray that the mothers continue having the courage to be with their sick children.

Happy Mothers Day to All

Argh!

Had such a nice lunch, asam fish and rice at aunty's place. Nice stroll down maju junction, stopped by Body Shop on the way back. Then just before starting my work decided to experiment with the templates on my blog and aaarrrggghhhh! I lost all the links I had put as well as my traffic count meter. Why didnt they tell me this? OK, maybe they did when they say "All customisation will be lost" But how owuld I know if its considered customisation. Must be more specificlah with a computer "dungu" like me.

No time for it now. Will remedy it later

Sri dropped by ....

I was so glad to see her. She dropped by on her way back home with Gitanjali. We didnt talk about it at all but there was this unspoken understanding between us. I know she loves me and she knows I do and maybe that's all that matters...I suppose we will make more an effort to stay connected. have this sense of relief in me....like this heavy feeling off my chest finally

Didn't mean to make her cry

Feeling really bad for making Sri feel this way. I didnt mean for her to cry. Oh God! I have been not the bestest friend either. I am so sorry. I haven really been around for her either, neither have I made an effort to get more involved in her life. Always busy with alysha or suben or work.

I feel like i have gained so much and yet lost out on so much since I had my daughter. Its really my own doing. I am just not good at balancing things in life. I feel guilty half the time as I cant be with my daughter, not only that, I think its my emotional need as well that she fulfills and so I spend all the free time I have with her. Then I have a husband who needs just as much if not more attention. I have been told that this is my doing as before I had alysha I used to manja him a little too much. But I really enjoyed doing that, then. So now when I spend most of my time with alysha, I get accused of not spending enough time with Suben. And so I try and focus back on him. And in juggling between the two and work, I have left everyone and everything else out.

I dont want to lose her. She is really a good friend. I love her dearly and I realy have to try harder.

I know I should call her now and speak to her but I dont think I can do that. Firstly, I am really bad at doing this , secondly I think I would cry and my boss wouldnt appreciate it :)

So I hope she reads this blog and my reply to her comment.

I love you Sri.

boring, boring, boring day at work

such a terribly boring day at work. Its so quiet and seeja is not around. A very smat thing to work from home today. Now! why didnt I think of that. Nothing exciting happening here. Even the snake is quiet not doing anything anoying. Doing the Lafarge report and that is something you wouldnt want to do when you are already bored.

So you knowlah, counting the minutes to 5.30. wanna go home and see my cweeeetie pie, also hubby, of course. Having the 3 days with them makes me miss them so much now. Of course , in the morning I was more than happy to come to work. Needed a break from the whining but now i miss them already.

Posted a mothers day card to my MIL. Hope its appreciated. Wanna do something special for my mom, what shall I do? She is a cancerian so you knowlah, very sensitive at heart. So the simplest gesture would make her really happy. Should speak to my bro and plan something.

But been reading lots of blogs and I now can understand why is it so exciting to get comments on blogs. I just got a few and and am so excited. People are actually reading my blog. They probably got the link through the comments I leave behind in other blogs. The world of bloggers is a small world after all.

'till later

Can we have more 3 day weekends, pls?

Back to work after a long weekend. Its amazing how much difference the one extra day makes. It was one of the best weekends I have had.

Surprisingly I did manage to go for the mid night show with my husband. "Sahara" Although I slept for 1/2 hour during the show, the rest of it was actually quite good.

The rest of the weekend, the mornings were spent lazing around with my daughter but every evening we did something which was so much fun. And I had a short nap every afternoon and even managed to read some of my book.

Saturday eveing was Manju's daughters Birthday party, Alysha had so much fun. It was one of the best childrens party I had been to coz it was truely meant for kids. There was the bouncing castle, face painting, sand art, amazing cup cakes that Alysha loved and lots of gifts (the more the better as far as the kid is concerned). Of course Alysha cried as soon as she saw the clown but later it was ok when he started making ballons.

On Sunday, I decided to make pizza at home . I was inspired by Pizza Uno. After all how difficult can it be. It actually turned out very well. Alysha had the most fun making and eating it. In the evening we went to the park, me, alysha and Suryani ( my maid) and dad came along. I think it was the first time that he has been to the park with ALysha. He had so much fun watching her play, even sat in the swing next to her. You could see it on his face, he was so happy. We left after an hour and went to pasar malam in bangsar. Again Alysha had so much fun walking through pasar malam, drinking sugar cane juice for the first time. Dinner was from pasar malam, satay, poh piah and carrot cake. She loved all of it. Sri was back from Bali so visited her for a while after dinner. But half the time was trying to get Gitanjali off Alysha. lol. She gets excited when she sees her but shows it by holding on to her and pulling her. So half the time was spent separating the two. lol.

Monday, I made a nice cajun salmon meal for Suben, (which turned out great and which he loved) and made macroni salmon caserole for Alysha (she ate with both hands, lol) Yes, I can actually cook. Its just that I have gotten lazy and to me its always been something that takes the time that I have with Alysha away from me. But now she cooks with me. She aranged the macroni, the salmon, the cheese on the caserole, even poured the egg on top.

Monday evening, we went to 1 Utama. Just for a change I guess. Went to the pet shop which was a great trip for Alysha, then on the feeries wheel. Coincidentally my bro was in Sushi King with Su Ann, so joined them for dinner. Alysha had such a great time running around 1 Utama and seeing her milk carton disappear and come back from the conveyer belt at Sushi King. Magic, pure magic. Should have seen the look on her face.

Hussain and Su Ann bought her a beautiful top from Soda. Cant wait for her to wear it. Two more rides on Sub marine and Fire Engine and we called it a day. She was obviously over tired. Didnt even want to chenge into pgs and went straight to bed.

Although Suben and me only had our night out on Friday, he spent every free time he could with us and it was just great. He is finally having fun with her. Of course he was stuck to the sofa in front the TV half teh time, aaarrrggghhh! but have to just live with that. Infact he was carrying her all the time in 1 Utama and she was enjoying it (she usually wants me to carry her). Looks like it may not be as difficult as it looked if I have another one now :)

'till later